random doctrinal thoughts

Two random thoughts that I need to write about before I forget. 
  I just love the idea of the COMPLETENESS of the Atonement.  The fact of the the matter is, everyone in this lifetime is going to be hurt by someone they love or trust.  Everyone will also hurt someone that loves or trusts them.  The atonement covers both parties.  The words "He descended below all things" to me represents that Jesus experienced the shame and depravity felt by the one who has sinned against another as much as the fear, pain, and trauma experienced by the victim. 
  It has taken a long tome to feel forgiven (to forgive myself rather) for knowing that I was given the stewardship of my children and was kind of lame about it.  I felt I was neglectful and crabby a lot. I felt angry and resentful and I took it out on my kids.  The thing is, the more I've opened up about it and admitted my failures as a mother, the more I understand EVERY MOTHER FEELS THE SAME! No one is as good at this job as they want to be.  Everyone and I mean EVERYONE feels they were too angry, too tired, too selfish, whatever, at times.  I'm not saying that it's okay to yell, ignore or purposefully hurt your children, I'm saying that the Atonement was made for us ridiculously dumb parents AND the children who suffer at our hands.  What makes it easier for me to feel healed from this part of my life (and to be clear, it was not all bad, some of it was pretty great), is knowing that I tried my best to teach my sons this principle of the Atonement for them. If THEY choose, THEY have the opportunity and the right to feel cleansed, peaceful, healed, clearheaded, whatever they need. They just need to choose to believe, humble themselves by opening their minds to the possibility of faith - specifically in Jesus Christ as a divine being that has the power to deliver those things to them based on His voluntary, merciful, loving act of taking upon Himself and experiencing ALL our shame, fear, anger, pain - so we don't have to. It doesn't make sense on paper (which is why faith is crucial), but it honestly, no matter what side of the sin you are on, WORKS! Completely.

  The second thing I was thinking about is really random and came from a question that 10 year old Spencer Kandare asked on Sunday as I substitute taught in Primary on Sunday.  We were talking about the parable of the wise man/foolish man building their respective houses on either rock or sand. A wonderful parable about choices. Spencer asked, "If we could get in so much trouble, why didn't God just let Satan save us? It seems so much nicer." Yes Spencer, sometimes choosing sucks!  I think I have subconsciously felt the same. Like if Heavenly Father loves us so much, why would He make it so hard to be with Him again? And the whole idea of glory - Lucifer wanted the glory for himself, Jesus wanted the glory to go all to our Father - what, didn't He have enough? What's the deal with all this glory anyway?
  So it occurred to me that we talk about going back to live with Heavenly Father again as being the goal to making right choices. Well, we've already done that.  He doesn't want us to just live with Him, He wants us to live LIKE Him.  We can't do that without overcoming stuff.  Also, God's ways are not our ways, and that's where Lucifer was confused too I think with the whole glory thing.  If we would have followed him and been automatically "saved", we would've been so grateful to him, we would have loved and worshiped him. However, we would be the same spiritually small, innocents as we were before without any reason for experience.  God's glory comes from US earning our own glory (see Moses 1:39).  Lucifer didn't want just God's glory, he wanted OURS - Boooo! When I choose God's plan, God's way - as I've been taught it - I choose experience, growth and progress, and therefore more glory for myself. THAT is God's glory too. Yea!!!  Harder? yes Spencer- but as it turns out, much, much nicer.